Tuesday, May 5, 2009

{background}

in the background
is where our dog,
alex,
has been for a while now.
as he has aged to a ripe
15 years
he has slipped into
the background
he no longer runs and fetches
it hurts him
he is slow to react
but quick to love on
our legs as we pass him by
he is slow to meet us
at the door
but quick to move
to a bedside as we sleep
he is slow to eat
what is in his bowl
but still quick to beg for our food

the last year has brought
some health issues for him
but he kicked them like
the trooper he is
there was a time in the summer
when we took him to the vet
and did not think he would
return with us
but he did
thankfully

alex
has been with the hubs
for longer than
me and the kids
and while i do not
envy him the decision
i know it is his in the end:
he has decided
it is time for
alex
to be free from the pain he is in

the logical part of me
knows this makes sense
no pain medication
has brought him relief
and hubs said it best
when i suggested maybe trying more...
he said,
"to make us feel better or to make him feel better?"
and he is right.
alex
just isn't going to feel better.

so with a heavy heart
and a shaky voice
i called the vet
to make an appointment
for tomorrow (weds)
one which he will not accompany
us home from.

we told the kids tonight
which i dreaded
we read a book called
dog heaven
and the kiddos
have decided that might be
a cool place for him to be.
i keep telling myself the same.

so tonight
there have been lots of
hugs
petting
kissing
and loving


and tomorrow
i am sure there will be
lots of missing...
missing him
rub our legs
sleep by our beds
beg for our food.

the background in our life will be missing...

9 comments:

jenjen said...

Oh - so sad to hear this. What a hard decision to make.

((hugs))
Jen

Finding Normal said...

I am literally crying for you. Apparently I need therapy because I still cry almost every day after losing our dog 3 weeks ago.
Peace.

Mighty M said...

So sad, I will be thinking of all of you!

Aubrey said...

Oh Lori...
I can't imagine the void that will be in your lives after today. Tears were in my eyes as I read this. Our pets are such a big part of our lives, our family.
Many hugs to you and yours!

mom said...

poor Alex and you guys...sure know how that feels but he is not suffering any more..are the kis okay? I'll call you later..love to all...mom

Jen said...

:-(
This made me cry. Losing a pet is so hard. Hope the kiddos are ok.

Jen said...

just to add...not just are the kiddos Ok, but you and Kelly?

angi_b72 said...

I don't even like animals and that made me cry!! I hope everyone is ok...love you guys!!

Grand Pooba said...

Oh no! I had to put my dog down last summer and it is just the hardest thing to go through. I am so sorry! My father in law is a vet so he has to deal with these situations on a daily basis and he always tells me that it is better to put a dog down then to keep him alive while he's in pain. It really is sort of selfish because you're keeping him alive for you. So I totally agree with your decision, I had to make the same one.

Hugs! Good luck tomorrow!