Tuesday, March 3, 2009

she's come undone

{wally lamb had no idea he could have written about me!}
spiders
where do i begin?
i.do.not.like.them.
understatement
i hate them!
if they are outside
they are okay,
inside?
i lose my damn mind!
something comes over me
i become insane at the sight of one
my insides start to shudder
i cannot stand it
and if one happens to get on me?
fuggedaboutit!
i go into hysterics!
i liken it to convulsing...
not pretty.
i come undone!
i am a pretty rational person otherwise
i sooooo get that this is silly
i do
i see my kids act this way
when they see a spider
and i think,
'get a hold of your crazy self!'
in fact i am sure i have said that!
{yes, i have dutifully passed this on!}
i try very hard to keep my wits
about me when the kids are around
and i see an arachnid
i do
but last night:
kids are in bed
hubs in the bedroom
and i am alone
in the living room
i see it
something scurries across the floor
i freeze
{and simultaneously pause the drama i was wrapped up in on the tv!}
i yell for hubs
he does not come
i grab my cell phone
and yes, i called him!
i calmly say,
'come take care of the
tarantula in our living room!'
he takes his sweet old time
but my eyes never left the spider
and yes, it was so small
he had to LOOK for it when he came in!
i know, this is pitiful...
and i am sure i will suffer
with this affliction
forever
because i cannot stand to think
what an intervention
for being arachnophobic would be like!
no thanks!
i will take the momentary insanity!

what makes you come undone???
{i had a picture to post, but couldn't bring myself to do it! ick!}

10 comments:

angi_b72 said...

i never knew you had a hatred like this for spiders. I take it you can't what Arachnophobia? Funny...i never knew!! oh by hte way...what is that crawling in your hair? lol

lori said...

oh yes...i have thrown myself off the couch before when there was the tiniest spider on my arm!

Aubrey said...

OMGosh! LOL
What does it for me?

MICE!

lesley said...

MICE!!!!!!!!!!they are scary

missy said...

oh my gosh....SNAKES!!!!!!
i have the same issue as you do when it comes to the dreaded SNAKES!!!!!
uugggh!!!

Sassypants Wifey said...

Oh man spiders are my kryptonite too. I hit the ceiling if I see em. I once woke up hubster cause I thought there was one on the ceiling, (woke him up is putting it mildly) I shot across the room and flipped the light on. he promptly informed me that in the whole 8 months he had been in iceland that he had never even seen a bug there. Turned out is was a screw in the ceiling. Spaz, I now. But how was I to know that iceland didnt have a bug problem. I forget now why we dont live there in all their glorious bug freeness...

Mighty M said...

I hate spiders, and anything little creature that has the gall to fly near my face. I think I "keep my cool" when my daughter is around, but then something comes near and I yell and scream and flap my arms. Now she does the same. Great.

mom said...

KILL ALL THE SPIDERS IN THE WORLD!!! CAN NOT STAND THEM..SO SCARED...LORI, I GUESS YOU GET THAT FROM ME..LOVE YA, MOM
GREAT WAY YOU WROTE YOUR BLOG FOR SPIDERS.

John Deere Mom said...

We are SOOOO alike!

Xazmin said...

UGH! Spiders are what put me over the edge also. I can handle a mouse, I even think snakes are kinda cool. But spiders - it gives me the willies just thinkin' about it. Even a picture of a spider makes me shudder.